Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Real Santa

(For a change I created today's artwork rather than plagiarize)
Merry Christmas.

Recently The Mind of Wallett provided a thorough treatise on many of our Christmas traditions, culminating with an expose of The Fat Man himself. Not the one in the bathtub. Santa himself. Visit This, That, 'N' T'other for more.

But this posting is not in reference to the Santa of legend. It's about the Real Santa. More along the lines of the one you might have caught kissing Mommy, or maybe even Bad Santa. It depends.

For as I thought about it, Who sees me when I'm sleeping? Who knows when I'm awake? Who knows if I've been bad or good?

That's right, it's me! I can bring presents or coal. I make a lot of lists.

And I don't just mean I create the lists, I mean I find myself on the lists I create - both Naughty and Nice. However, unlike the best thing you can put in your golf bag to lower your score (eraser), it's not so easy to get off the Naughty list once you're on it. Because you know.

Santa's lists are of course a form of Inventory. By seeing yourself on the Naughty list, you can find acceptance. The eraser may not work, but the ink can fade in time, with effort. By seeing yourself on both lists, you will find humility. Look at all the other people you put on the list. By asking "what part did I play in that?" you may learn forgiveness. Santa doesn't hold grudges. Anymore.

In closing, let's recap a few other cool things about Santa: Santa speaks every language. He remembers every child's name. And when he speaks to you, he speaks to the innocent child within all of us. He knows your happiest memory, and your saddest moment.

Santa takes you back to a place and time when the world was simple.
Where you were as unspoiled as new fallen snow.
A place where you can begin anew.
Santa's not just me. He's you too.
So go out and exclaim, ere you drive through the night -
"Happy Christmas to all - and to all a good night."


  1. I like the idea of a pissed off Santa holding a grudge.... "No Rusk is not getting a present this year....I know he helped that old lady across the road but where the fuck was my mince pie and sherry last year, sod him". Perhaps whilst smoking a big Cuban cigar and swigging from a hip flask, a bit like the Dan Aykroyd Santa in Trading Places. He may deliver your present but he will leave with your silverware.

  2. Good point. Hold the cookies. Mince pie and sherry it is.

  3. I'm sure he'll take the cookie also, you never can take a chance when it comes to bribery.