This weekend marked the occasion of the annual spring golf outing, a ruse more akin to a scavenger hunt, wherein the participants attempt to find the true meaning of life, explore the depths of their souls and come to terms with the concept of equity in the universe - all within 4 rounds of golf.
Your Humble Narrator is a true hacker. Previous outings had taught me that the more I struggle with this reality, the more dissatisfied I become - like a chinese finger trap. Yet there are moments where the golfing gods cruelly challenge me by suggesting that I can actually play well.
By sinking a pair of 25-foot putts in Round 1, I was clearly in possession of the Golden Putter. And despite losing both the front and the back 9 to my sidekick, Fabian, this would go down as one of the most enjoyable rounds in golf history.
No, not THAT Fabian, but maybe close enough.
Fabian is the golf alter-ego of Bob, who goes by many other names as well, but also NOT the Bob from Twin Peaks. I think.
In Round 2 at the legendary Lighthouse Sound, the short game came to life as never before, leading to a birdie on the front 9. So infrequently do they occur, that YHN couldn't even remember his last one. But several holes later there was yet another birdie. A member of the foursome even tagged me "The Magician".
But Day 2 brought Round #3 at the fabled Eagle's Landing, and universal parity was re-established. Despite occasional glimpses of acceptable skill, "The Magician" performed a virtual disappearing act.
Even Fabian struggled on the front 9 - but in testament to his True Grit and mental toughness, he was able to play through. And he was rewarded with a majestic eagle on the par 4 #15, chipping in from 131 yards out - a true moment of golfing glory that will be etched forever in their minds.
In the final round, YHN was brought to his knees by the gods of golf. Unable to clear my mind of the day before, each stroke seemed to compound a 36-year history of bad golf that I was unable to shirk. At one point the only thing that was clear, was that a set of misused left-handed clubs would appear on Craig's List that evening.
But they won't be. Much to the disappointment of the golf community. I just needed more time than usual to recognize and accept some of my more deep-seated character defects. And sure, I could go take some golf lessons, but that would only help my golf game - and that's not really my problem.