Presented today is my third entry in the Product of Silence exercises offered periodically by Kristine at
Wait in the Van. Click on the button below for more on this. For previous botched attempts, click
here and/or
here.
This was a thought-provoking "assignment". Writing a letter you would never send. I was at first struck by the paradox that the letter would then be posted on the web - isn't that kind of like sending it? Give it a try and participate, you'll see what I mean.
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Dear Pointy-Headed Man,
I’m writing today as a follow-up to our recent interview. The opportunity to work in your
soul-sucking cubicle farm firm really excited me. It would certainly be a challenge to work
walk with the living dead among the
disenfranchised, purposeless and downtrodden zombies employees who
attend the daily funeral procession each contribute in their own way to the
overall poor quality of the work products
that offer no tangible value to society as a whole you generate.
There’s nothing I like better than having each member of the team
mindlessly, without pride of ownership or even shame complete their work and hand it off to the next person
for them to watch float in the bowl until it’s too late to do anything about it to put on the finishing touches. This is a team I’d truly like to be a part of, because as we all know, there is no “I” in team
but there is “eat me".
I was equally impressed by the firm’s history of accomplishments and management approach
as a short-sighted profit-taking machine of oppression. Here, I said, was clearly a workplace where one could stand on the shoulders of giants
even if that was done by stabbing them in the back as you climbed ungratefully up the ladder on their achievements.
I believe I can be a valuable addition to your firm
and will curb my inevitable desire of web-surfing on your time, walking off with reams of copy paper, staplers and pens as my sense of values and self esteem are slowly eroded and look forward to hearing back from you soon.
Sincerely yours,
