Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Trash Talking

With the new NFL season ready to roll, the family pool is ready for 'adult free swim'. Unfortunately after week 1 (or maybe the first cannonball) the pool may be closed due to multiple Baby Ruth sightings. Each year contestants pit their prognosticating abilities against each other in a winner-take-all glory ride ending with a fabulous prize ceremony. Gene, why don't you tell the contestants what they'll be playing for?

Thaaat's right Bob, their name will be etched for all eternity in the "Because It's Football" trophy, the "Wide Left" pie tin and the "Bottom of the Barrel" likeness of... the bottom of a barrel. Unlike the Newlywed Game, prizes are NOT theirs to keep forever. They MUST be returned to the league office each season for recycling. Of course during their absence, they are coveted by their Owners who generally keep them proudly on display, to be envied by all. Some winners have been heard in their closets late at night, stroking their (treasure) while cooing "My Precious...". Yeah sure. you were polishing "your trophy".

And now a word from our sponsor. Did you ever stop to think what would happen if you never took out the trash? You keep generating it. It would build up until it would be like the Monk episode when the Sanitation Department went on strike in SF. Or worse, because it would be in your house. Life is like that too. Take out some trash today, and stop generating. Eventually, you'll have a clean house.

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